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Quick Links Login Log Out Order Mudcat CDs! Forum Search Get Your Mudcat T-Shirt About The Digitrad Download Your Own Copy DT Keyword Search Contact Us, daily telegraph online dating. Subject: You get no bride with one lost ball From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Date: 07 Dec 00 - AM Apologies for total non-musical content but it might inspire a ballad.
From today's London Daily Telegraphe online I only read it for the Matt cartoon, honest : Woman bit off man's testicle in party fight By Paul Stokes A NEWLY-WED bank supervisor had a testicle bitten off by a colleague's wife during a drunken party to celebrate his wedding.
Doctors told Neil Hutchinson, 29, that the shock and pain could have killed him had he not consumed so much alcohol. He spent four days in hospital, during which surgeons were unable to re-attach the severed organ, and then he learned that his new bride had daily telegraph online dating him. Mr Hutchinson, a TSB employee and his wife Shelley, daily telegraph online dating, 20, of Craghead, Co Durham, had been invited to celebrate their marriage with another couple.
Denise Carr, 29, whose husband Nathan, 32, daily telegraph online dating, a fellow TSB supervisor, had missed the Hutchinsons' wedding and threw a party in their honour.
While the two women went out for drinks, the men drank three quarters of a bottle of tequila at the flat in Low Fell, Gateshead, Tyneside. When they returned, a quarrel broke out involving all four. Mr Hutchinson attacked his wife and Mrs Carr tried to defend her friend, said Stephen Duffield, prosecuting, at Newcastle Crown Court.
It ended with Mr Hutchinson sitting on top of Mrs Carr and she bit him to get him off. Police arrived a short time later to find the flat in disarray and found Mr Hutchinson's testicle under a picture frame on the sitting room floor.
Mrs Hutchinson said: "Denise said she knew she had bitten his groin but she didn't know she had done that kind of damage, daily telegraph online dating. Denise and Nathan Carr, who have two children, were jointly charged with daily telegraph online dating with intent. The court accepted her plea of guilty to the lesser offence of affray and the charge was dropped against her husband. Mrs Carr will be sentenced in January. Her husband said after the hearing: "It has been a really bad episode for us but we were only trying to help out a friend who was in need.
and you thought I was strange Expat World Global Network Search Site Plan Daily Index Appointments Jobs ET. She married a man who had no balls at all! Daily telegraph online dating RE: BS: You get no bride with one lost ball From: Tiger Date: 07 Dec 00 - AM And here they come, daily telegraph online dating, out of the woodwork.
Hitler has only got one ball, Goering has two, but they are small. Himmler has something simmler, But Goebbels has no balls at all. Subject: RE: BS: You get no bride with one lost ball From: Grab Date: 07 Dec 00 - AM "Oh his name daily telegraph online dating Johnny Hall, Johnny Hall, boom boom I know all the verses, but I don't have the balls to post it in public. Subject: RE: BS: You get no bride with one lost ball From: catspaw49 Date: 07 Dec 00 - AM Skiff, there's a moral to this story I have no idea what it is, but there is bound to be a good one in it somewhere.
Subject: RE: BS: You get no bride with one lost ball From: Rick Fielding Date: 07 Dec 00 - PM Roger, did you invent that thread title on yer own? If so, it's positively brilliant! Josh White would be proud although, since you're English I should say "Lonnie Donegan would be proud"! Subject: RE: BS: You get no bride with one lost ball From: Bardford Date: 07 Dec 00 - PM The Rodeo Song By Gaye Delorme Click here for a link to his songs.
Well here comes Johnny with his pecker in his hand He's a one ball man And he's off to the rodeo. There's more, but I think there's an MPeg file on the above page. Stereotestically yours, Bardford. Subject: RE: BS: You get no bride with one lost ball From: The Shambles Date: 07 Dec 00 daily telegraph online dating PM Good, a thread you can really 'get your teeth into'.
Subject: RE: BS: You get no bride with one lost ball From: catspaw49 Date: 07 Dec 00 - PM Sham, I really don't want to hear another word out of you! Now go sit in the corner. Subject: RE: BS: You get no bride with one lost ball From: bflat Date: 07 Dec 00 - PM Has anyone checked on Mrs. Carr's teeth? She must have a double set of teeth, like a shark to rip through Mr. Hutchinson's daily telegraph online dating briefs and scrotum.
Or was Mr, daily telegraph online dating. in the buff? Could they have been up to parlour games? Will this be covered in The Enquirer? We've got to know, we have inquiring minds. Subject: RE: BS: You get no bride with one lost ball From: kimmers Date: 07 Dec 00 - PM appropriating an old ditty Hutchinson is much improved Since he had a sphere removed Shorn of passion, shorn of fire, He now sings alto in the choir. Subject: RE: BS: You get no bride with one lost ball From: Hollowfox Date: 07 Dec 00 - PM Hmmm, the "Moscow Hold", with assistance.
Somebody else will have to post the story for the benefit of those that don't know it; things are a little too busy here at work today. Subject: RE: BS: You get no bride with one lost ball From: katlaughing Date: 07 Dec 00 - PM Just goes to show, ya don't even need a Bobbit these days. Do you suppose Mrs. Or, sheepherding in the old West; Rocky Mtn oysters on the half shell, daily telegraph online dating, teeth marks and all! Welcome back, Sean M!!! Subject: RE: BS: You get no bride with one lost ball From: Stewart Date: 07 Dec 00 - PM I don't know why, but this brings to mind the song One Fish Ball The waiter bellowed down the hall "You get no bread with one fish ball There is a moral to this all: You get no bread with one fish ball Cheers, S, daily telegraph online dating.
in Seattle. Subject: RE: BS: You get no bride with one lost ball From: Sorcha Date: 07 Dec 00 - PM This is truly bizzare and kat, the same thought daily telegraph online dating through my mind--Rocky Mountain Oysters on the half shell and she obviously doesn't swallow, either Subject: RE: BS: You get no bride with one lost daily telegraph online dating From: Troll Date: 07 Dec 00 - PM Sorcha it's prob'ly just as well. Subject: RE: BS: You get no bride with one lost ball From: Susan A-R Date: 07 Dec 00 - PM Did she bite off more than she could chew?
Hmmm, makes me think of one of my favorite lymrics In the garden of Edan lay Adam complacently stroking his madam In quiet elation for in all of creation There were only two balls And he had 'em. the middle two lines may not be the right ones, but you get the drift.
Carr could have ruined that idyllic little scene, I fear. Subject: RE: BS: You get no bride with one lost ball From: catspaw49 Date: 07 Dec 00 - PM I think he was also accredited with the first palindrome too when he said to Eve, "Madam, I'm Adam.
Subject: RE: BS: You get no bride with one lost ball From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Date: 08 Dec 00 - AM Rick, yes the thread title was a poor thing but mine own, trying to get a vague musical connection! andyes, Josh White was in my mind! I toyed with an alternative: "Find me a bollock on the floor" but I think I made the right decision! Subject: RE: BS: You get no bride with one lost ball From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Date: 08 Dec 00 - AM With so many talented songwriters and parodists here I hesitate to oh well, here's a start: Find me a bollock on the floor Find me a bollock on the floor Hunted high, hunted low Wher did that sucker go?
Find me a bollock on the floor That woman bit me mean and low That woman she bit me mean and low She bit me mean and low Now where did that bollock go? Please help me find it 'fore you go RtS W. Subject: RE: BS: You get no bride with one lost ball From: The Shambles Date: 08 Dec 00 - AM Find the one that belongs to me Then you can all go free Find it then you can go I'll have to search you all, daily telegraph online dating, below No one leaves this room with three.
Subject: RE: BS: You get no bride with one lost ball From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Date: 08 Dec 00 - AM Nice one, namesake! Subject: RE: BS: You daily telegraph online dating no bride with one lost ball From: DougR Date: 08 Dec 00 - PM Spaw, I think the moral of the story might be, "never sit on an irate woman who has very sharp teeth, daily telegraph online dating.
Subject: RE: BS: You get no bride with one lost ball From: Sorcha Date: 09 Dec 00 - AM Or maybe, "Never ask for lobster when daily telegraph online dating have oysters" Never say "Bite me, baby" Always ask--"Do you swallow? I'm awful, aren't I? hee, hee,hee typical female--totally unsympathetic he almost had to have been without trousers, didn't he? Subject: RE: You get no bride with one lost ball From: GUEST,Bob Coltman Date: 03 Jan 07 - PM Roger the Skiffler: I know, seven years is a long time to wait but it's the magical period that has to elapse in all fairy tales, right?
So, here you are, daily telegraph online dating. All honors to you for the title and the idea. Hope you're still reading threads, coz here it comes. Yes, Sorcha, I was wondering about the logistics of those trousers or lack thereof, too.
Bob YOU GET NO BRIDE WITH ONE LOST BALL A little man he scratched his head, to find a place where he might wed, And afterward a lovely ball, with cakes and wine for one and all, Cho1: One and all, one and all, With cakes and wine for one and all. The wedding it was very posh, he and the missus hitched, by gosh, He really hit the alcohol, and got into an awful brawl, The little man he got quite tight, with his new wife he picked a daily telegraph online dating, He got so tiddly he went mad, the thing he did was very bad, Very bad ….
He got into an awful brawl, attacked his bride, her friends and all, While sitting on his wife's friend's face, she bit him in a dreadful place, Dreadful place… Their flat was in sheer disarray, his ball had disappeared, they say, Had she swallowed it? Not at all, they found it over by the wall, By the wall… They took him to the hospital, they could not reattach the ball, The doctor said, the alcohol saved you from death from that pratfall, That pratfall… His wife got on her highest horse, she said, I'm filing for divorce, The patients heard her down the hall, You get no bride with one lost ball, One lost ball… The little man felt very bad, just one ball was all he had, And in his dreams he hears her call: You get no bride with one lost ball, One lost ball….
Subject: RE: You get no bride with one lost ball From: GUEST,Bob Coltman Date: 03 Jan 07 - PM Oh yes, forgot to mention. The melody is, of course, "One Meat Ball. The dirty sod! The bastard deserves to die. How shall he die? Subject: RE: You get no bride with one lost ball From: Charley Noble Date: 04 Jan 07 - AM Bob- It was kind of you to fulfill the promise of this ancient thread.
I'm almost tempted to research this story as an "urban daily telegraph online dating but why spoil such an intriguing story.
When asked what was her plea, the wife's friend replied with biting sarcasm, "I thought I'd have a ball but it was more like a peanut.
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